theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
