do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
