do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
