the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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