I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
