break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
look no pants
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
