i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
