Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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