Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
