4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
