Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
