Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
