We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He felt like a one man threesome
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
