I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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