I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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