You know, be my cock's hype man.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
there is glitter all over my balls
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