found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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