She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
