Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
