I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
