i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
