People in love make me want to vomit
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
