I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
