ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
