Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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