smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
