My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't put those talents on a resume
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
