We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
