I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
