Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
