Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
