Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
