Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
