I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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