i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
