So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
