youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
its liver damage thursday
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
