I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
