I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
