How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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