what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
