thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
