I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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