Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
