Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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