Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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