and you said cock pushups were impossible
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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