We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
