I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize