He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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