Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
